Couples Therapy in Durham, NC
Stop having the same fight. Turn conflict into conversations that bring you closer.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy in Durham, NC
You've tried working through this on your own. Same argument, different day. If your relationship has settled into a pattern of conflict or lost trust, Gottman Method Couples Therapy offers a structured way out. I offer counseling to couples in Durham and across North Carolina by secure telehealth. We'll identify what's keeping the two of you stuck and build practical, research-backed skills to build more effective communication, manage conflict, and reconnect both in and out of the bedroom.
Does this sound like you?
You've had this argument before. More than once.
The topic may keep changing: money, parenting, sex, how you spend a Saturday. But the result is always the same. One of you brings something up, the other hears an attack, and within a few sentences you're each defending your position instead of listening. Nobody wins. Nothing gets resolved. You just stop talking until the next time it comes up.
Once that cycle repeats enough times, you can predict how a conversation will go before you even start it. That's exhausting on its own, before you even factor in the actual disagreement.
Fights that escalate instead of resolve
Feeling dismissed or unheard, even when you're careful with your words
Avoiding certain topics to keep the peace
Feeling more like coworkers running a household than partners
Not knowing if this is fixable
How Gottman Method Couples Therapy Can Help
Here’s what we can do together
Every long-term relationship has recurring disagreements. Whether or not those recurring disagreements damage the relationship depends on how those conversations unfold. Criticism often brings defensiveness. Contempt may show up as sarcasm, mockery, or eye-rolling. If one partner becomes overwhelmed and stops responding, the other may push harder. The original problem never gets addressed.
In session, we'll slow those moments down and identify where the conversation goes off track. I may stop you when a complaint becomes a character attack, when an explanation turns into defensiveness, or when silence becomes stonewalling. Then we'll practice a clearer way to raise the concern, respond, and stay on the original topic.
We'll use the conversations you're already having at home. You will practice repair attempts, taking responsibility for part of the problem, and pausing when either of you is too overwhelmed to listen. The goal is to leave with responses you can use during the next difficult conversation, not only after it is over.
Why Choose the Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method draws on more than 40 years of research by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. It gives us a shared language for what is happening during conflict and a clear plan for what to practice between sessions.
Manage conflict: replace criticism with a gentle startup, notice defensiveness, and build skills to de-esacalate
Protect respect and intimacy: identify contempt early and strengthen the fondness, appreciation, and friendship that make difficult conversations less adversarial
Build shared meaning: make decisions about priorities, family life, and the future as partners rather than as two people managing separate agendas
What to Expect from Couples Therapy in Durham
Gottman Method Couples Therapy begins with a structured assessment. You'll know where you stand before we decide where to go.
1. Joint Initial Assessment Session
We’ll meet together to review your relationship history, the disagreements that keep returning, the strengths you want to preserve, and what each of you wants to change.
2. Individual Partner History
I meet with each partner separately to understand family history, previous relationships, current stressors, and the individual perspective each of you brings to the conflict.
3. The Gottman Relationship Checkup
You will complete the Gottman Relationship Checkup, a HIPAA-compliant, research-based assessment developed by Dr. John Gottman. It evaluates friendship, intimacy, conflict, trust, and shared meaning. The results help us distinguish a communication skill gap from a deeper problem involving trust, commitment, or emotional disengagement.
4. Feedback Session
We review the findings together. I will name the strengths we can build on, the specific interactions that are causing the most damage, and the first skills to practice. You will leave with a treatment plan tied to your goals.
The Ongoing Work: Relationship Counseling Tailored to You
After the assessment, we prioritize the interactions causing the most damage and practice alternatives until they are easier to use at home.
Manage conflict differently: use a gentler start, stay with one issue, recognize flooding, and use repair attempts before the conversation collapses
Rebuild trust: address past hurt, including infidelity, through direct questions, clear agreements, consistent follow-through, and accountability
Restore the partnership: make time for friendship, affection, and shared decisions so daily life involves more than logistics and conflict
Inclusive, Sex-Positive Couples Counseling in Durham
I provide sex-positive, affirming couples therapy for people of all sexual orientations, gender identities, and relationship structures.
I will not assume that your identity or relationship structure is the source of the problem. We will focus on the agreements you have made, where communication or trust is breaking down, and what each partner needs in order to participate honestly.
What Change Looks Like
You’ll see visible progress in what happens before, during, and after disagreements.
01. Disagreements become conversations instead of arguments.
You’ll learn how to raise concerns, respond without becoming defensive, and work through disagreements without feeling like every conversation has to end with a winner and a loser.
02. You check assumptions before reacting.
Instead of deciding that a late arrival means your partner does not care, you ask what happened and say what the delay affected. The conversation begins with the event in front of you rather than a conclusion about the entire relationship.
03. The trust between you begins to build.
Whether you’ve been feeling disconnected for years or recovering from a painful breach of trust, healthier conversations create opportunities to rebuild emotional safety one interaction at a time.
04. You repair sooner.
You recognize when criticism, contempt, defensiveness, or stonewalling has entered the conversation. One of you can call a pause, offer a repair attempt, and return to the subject at an agreed time instead of losing the rest of the evening to blame or silence.
About Durham Native Kenny Levine, LCSW
I grew up in Durham's Forest Hills/Lakewood area, and lived in South Durham for more than 50 years. I have watched Downtown Durham transform from the tobacco-town landscape of my childhood while Duke, UNC, and Research Triangle Park continued to bring new families to the area. That history gives me deep context for couples building their life (and their relationship) in Durham.
I bring more than 25 years of clinical experience and advanced training in couples therapy:
Completed the Level 3 Practicum Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy through the Gottman Institute
30 hours of advanced training in Dr. Alan E. Fruzzetti's model of DBT for Couples
Two-semester doctoral-level clinical practicum in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Couples, audited through the UNC Chapel Hill Department of Psychology
This background lets me choose interventions based on what is happening in your relationship rather than taking every couple through the same protocol.
Serving Couples in Durham and the Triangle Area
I work by telehealth with couples in Durham, Chapel Hill, Hillsborough, Carrboro, Burlington, Greensboro, Research Triangle Park, and throughout North Carolina.
How Couples Therapy Works
Ready to get started?
Your relationship can be stronger
than it has ever been before.
FAQs About Couples Counseling in Durham
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My practice currently offers telehealth only. I am licensed to meet with clients located in North Carolina and Utah. If you are anywhere in the Triangle, we will meet by secure video.
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Intimate partner/couples counseling typically isn’t covered by health insurance. Please check your insurance plan’s benefits for more information.
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Couples Assessment (includes Gottman Relationship Checkup) • 80 min: $335
Individual Partner Assessment Session • 45 min: $170 per session
Couples Counseling Session • $205
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Yes. I work with couples of all sexual orientations, gender identities, and consensual relationship structures. My LGBTQ couples counseling page has more about my approach and what to expect.